How To Talk To Strangers
Meeting someone for the first time can be nerve-wracking. Some folks feel awkward talking to someone they don’t know. However, there are many instances during your career where you will need to know how to talk to strangers.
- Networking events
- Conferences
- During a meeting
- In an elevator
The more confident you are at communicating, the more comfortable you will be striking up a conversation with a stranger.
Below are three strategies to help you learn how to talk to strangers.
1. Find Common Ground
One of the easiest ways to talk to a stranger is to find common ground. This is because when you talk about something that interests both of you, the conversation generally flows more easily. For example, if you both like Sushi, you can talk about your favorite Sushi restaurants in town. However, first, you need to find common ground.
There are several ways to find common ground with a stranger.
- Ask Questions – Asking questions is a great way to get to know someone and find common ground. You can ask a variety of questions to find common ground with someone. For example, if you are at a networking event, you can ask, “What brings you to this event?” Or, if you are at a work conference, you can ask, “What do you do for your company?” When you ask questions, you show interest in the other person, which will help you find common ground.
- Make Observations – Another way to find common ground is to make observations. This means commenting on where you are, the food you are eating, or the weather. Talking about the weather is one of the easiest ways to find common ground with another person. For example, let’s say you are at a conference and it is snowing. You could say something like, “Wow, can you believe this snow? The last time it snowed like this, I was in University.” In this example, you talk about the weather and lead the listener to talk about college.
- Give Compliments – Giving compliments can help you find common ground because you are telling the other person something you like that they like too. For example, you can say, “I really like your shoes. I’ve been trying to find a pair like those.” In this example, the person you are speaking to will feel flattered and open to sharing about their shoes and where they purchased them.
When you find common ground with a stranger, it will quickly open up your communication lines. This will help you connect as your conversation continues.
2. Positive Body Language
When you first meet someone, you must practice positive body language. This is because your body language can tell someone how you think and feel without speaking. You will want to project confidence and warmth when talking to a stranger.
There are a few things to consider:
- Posture – If you want to project confidence, you will need to sit/stand up straight, with your shoulders back, and your head held high. A confident posture will help you shake off any nerves you have when talking to a stranger. For example, if you are sitting at a conference table, you can sit on the edge of your seat. This will prevent you from slouching and looking uninterested.
- Gestures – When you meet someone for the first time, you will want to be mindful of your gestures. This means making sure you don’t use any accusatory gestures like pointing. You will also want to make sure your gestures match your message. This means using appropriate hand motions while speaking. For example, if you talk about the weather, you probably won’t need to use exaggerated gestures like waving your arms. Instead, you can match your gestures to the level of excitement with which you are speaking.
- Eye Contact – When you make eye contact with the person you are speaking with, you show you are confident and interested. Be sure you are making eye contact when they speak as well. If you don’t, you may come across as bored.
Practicing positive body language will help you show interest and confidence when meeting a stranger for the first time.
3. Awkward Pauses
When you meet someone for the first time, you may end up having a few awkward pauses. Don’t let this stop you from continuing the conversation.
There are several things you can do to make these pauses less awkward.
- Previous Topic – When there is a lull in your conversation, you can go back to the previous topic. Since you were just talking about it, going back won’t seem like you are grasping at something to talk about. For example, when an awkward pause arises, and you were just talking about the weather, you can say something like, “The snow is really coming down. Do you think it will last the rest of the evening?” Or you could say, “The snow is really coming down! I used to shovel my driveway, but now I’ve got a snowblower to do the job. Do you have to worry about snow removal?”
- Make “I” Statements – Sometimes awkward pauses come along because both parties, you and the person you are speaking with, don’t know what to say next. Even asking another question won’t help continue the conversation. In this case, you can make “I” statements. This means making a statement about yourself. For example, you can say, “This weekend, I went to the beach and played sand volleyball.” Now, if there is still an awkward silence, you could continue talking about the beach, the food there, any observations you made, and ask the other person about any of these things.
- Natural End – If you’ve been speaking to a stranger and an awkward pause arises, it could be a sign your conversation has naturally come to an end. And that’s okay! Remember, this is your first conversation. You are building rapport. It takes time to get to know someone and for them to get to know you.
The truth is, there will be awkward moments when you meet someone for the first time. Don’t panic if an awkward pause arises. Use the pause to go back to the previous subject, make an “I” statement, or decide the conversation has naturally ended.
Talking to strangers is a communication skill you can learn. Finding common ground and practicing positive body language will help you build rapport. Being okay with awkward pauses will help you become more comfortable in these situations.
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